Martha or Mary?

Once again the story of Martha and Mary has come to rest on my heart.  The story of the two sisters seems to be my story too, the story of a battle I constantly have within myself.  If I have to choose one, I am most likely Martha.  I worry and fret and think of millions of "what ifs," trying to iron out the details before I make a move to do something.  I worry that what is done is not good enough or that it is the wrong choice.  I worry about what was and what might be.  I am also a doer.  I try to be helpful and care for my neighbors.  I try to put other people first, making sure they are okay before taking care of my own wants and needs.  And, admitedly, like Martha, sometimes I get frustrated by those around me.  I can honestly say that I would like to be more like Mary.  I would like be able to sit at the feet of Jesus and be content and at peace, to not worry or fret, but to trust that the Lord will take care of everything in His time and in His way.  But it is very hard for me to give up control and to have faith that it will all work out...

Help me Lord, to always have faith and trust in You....

Sorry, Wrong Number...

How many times in our lives does God call us?  He calls us to love Him, to serve Him, to share in His creation, His mercy, His joy.  He calls us in a variety of ways, all of them good.  He calls us to be friends to each other.  He calls us to love and protect each other.  He calls us to care for His children.  He calls us to find love in another person and through that love and union bring forth new life.  He also calls some to follow Him more closely, in religious life.  Religious life does not hold the place it once had in the world's eyes, and those who are called to it often face many dispraging remarks or maltreatment because those who are not called do not, can not fully understand, this pull upon the heart.  Some who are called despair and reject the call.  God has given us free will.  He will not force us to accpet that which is distasteful to us, but He does ask us to bend and to submit, of our own choice.  Who are we to tell God He has a wrong number?

Selfless and Selfish

Right now I am very conflicted.  I want to be selfless and be a good support to my friends who are going through a very difficult and stressful transitional period in their lives.  I want to be happy for them and share in their joy as they start this new adventure.  I want to shower them with love and support because they are my friends and that is what they deserve, and because I want what is best for them, and because I know what they are doing is right and good.  But there is a very selfish part of me too that says I don't want to lose my friends.  That I rely on them for strength and support.  That I need their confidence and the community that they bring to my life because we share the same values and beliefs and aspiriations.  There is no hiding or falseness, just truth when I am with them.  I am able to be 'me,' without the mask that I wear in the rest of my life, and that is going to change now.  I know it is selfish of me to grieve over this, and maybe part of my emotions are coming from a bit of jealousy in that they are able to start a journey that I wish I was able to join too...and I don't really know how to reconcile the two parts of me that are conflicted right now.

I will continue to pray for peace and the grace to trust that everything happens for a purpose...

Altar of Sacrifice

The only way to truly reach union with God is by learning to accept, day by day, the actual conditions and tests permitted by God, by a continual and repeated laying down of our own will and acceptance of His as it is presented to us in the form of the people with whome we have to live and work and in the things which happen to us...Every acceptance of His will becoems an altar of sacrifice and every such surrender and abandonment of ourselves to His will is a means of furthering our union with Him.  - From Hinds Feet on High Places...

Love's True Form

It is very hard to love another person and not have that love returned, at least not in the same way it is expressed, but that is why we are called to love Jesus first...and He gives us the grace to love everyone else and to accept their responses, whatever they may be, even if they are not the way we want.  And then there are the one or two people who get under our skin and through our walls and their rejection or perceived rejection hurts...but we are called to love anyway, because Jesus first loved us.

Sower and the Seeds

ok...so you know how there are three areas that the seed is planted on? Dirt path, briars, and good soil.... When God's word falls on the Dirt Path, it takes root, but it is shallow, so it cannot remain, and the faith fades/dies away....when it lands in the briars, it has good ground so it takes firm hold, but outside forces end up suffocating it and it too dies and cannot sustain because of everything around it....but when it is in good soil it thrives and can flourish - because it's surroundings are also good and help nurture it to grow. the same can be said for us. If we try to maintain our relationship with Jesus on our own it may not sustain because humans are weak and fall to temptation, same if we are in bad or unsupportive company...it does not nurish us and can strangle us,...therefore, it is really good to be in a community of like-minded people who will both challenge and foster our relationships with Jesus so that we can all grow in love and faith together for the greater glory of God.